Married couples and in-laws or third party(The problems and possible solutions)

2)      INTRODUCTION: Marriage is a blessed union made by God that has been existing decades ago, in fact it has been oldest event among Man and God right from Adam and Eve, i can boldly say after the creation of the creatures in the bible it was the creation of man which led to the creation of the woman (who was taken out of the man) and there came about a UNION which is marriage. Marriage should involve at least two people that is a man and his wife while the others as the case may be. Marriage is to be enjoyed and not endured that is in marriage the couple are expected to live happily, do things in common, manage resources together, be at each other’s back, and probably fight for one another. Marriage is expected to live by the couple alone especially newly married couple but whereby there is a third party or in law coming in then it should be agreed upon by both partner and not a one sided decision. In most marriages today, the third party or in law can play a very crucial role in the marriage meaning, the following things may occur
:

3)      PROBLEMS IN MARRIAGE DUE TO THIRD PARTY OR IN LAWS:

a)      Secrecy: Some couple find it difficult to keep secrets among themselves without the knowledge of the third party or in laws. There are certain things which should be kept from the hearing of any other person outside the marriage cause it can be used as a reference to the disadvantage of the couple when a problem arises.

b)      Lack of confidence on any of the couple: some find it difficult to relate with their wife and vice versa, when there is a third party or in law in the home certain things they can
do normally without fear or loss of confidence will become a big problem for them due to the presence of the third party.

c)       Support on one side: where an argument or a fight occur and the third party or in law his or her relation  or some he/she is close to in the argument or fight , it can cause further problem in the home

d)      Influence (negatively): character is an important issue in marriages and should be positive at all times, a third party or in law who lacks such can be a bad influence to the couple through discussions, actions and so on.

e)      Jealousy: certain things the husband can do for his wife to her husband due to the love they share in common makes the relationship interesting but this can get to the eyes of the third party thereby trying to break those happiness most especially if the third party is un married.

f)       Relating: where couple don’t relate with each other bin marriages then there is bound to be a problem. Sometimes there is a feeling that comes to show love, do something romantic or do something unusual but when the third party or in law is in presence it can kill that emotion which is not good in marriages.

       Read also How to choose your right partner

4)       POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS:

a)      Secrecy: Couples should learn how to confide on each other and talk ABOUT ISSUES relating to their marriage behind closed doors , thereby preventing gossip and further problems in their marriage when you are discussing about certain issue and the third party walks in, postpone the conversation for another time probably bed time

b)      Lack of confidence on any of the party: if a man or woman in marriage lacks confidence there’s a problem, if you are that type that cant show affection when there is a third party then giving bher a treat when you are in the mood outside your home should be done but showing love in the presence of the third party or in law is good but can bring jealousy in the home

c)       Support on one side: when there is an argument in the home and the third party supports one over the other, there is no problem, what you need do is calm yourself down and see the support as irrelevant, take no action against the third party(beating, insults) rather after the fights must have been calm you couple settle talk to each other on how best to treat the third party because continuous support on one side can lead to a disastrous thing.

d)      Influence: if you know your partner very well, then no third party should be an influence to you that can break your marriage, all you need do is to recognize that the third party is a bad influence to you and take no action for ot, you can recognize it if you know and understand your partner very well.

e)      Jealousy: if you observe jealousy in the home probably from the third party or your partner’s affection to the third party then look for possible solutions to abstain from it, probably you should stop doing things that bring about the jealousy and making the partner to understand while you have stop doing those things.

f)       Relating: you must relate with your partner at all times, discussion, play romantic, and give him or her surprises, let him or her know your secrets, calls and messages are important, in doing this you will go well with your partner

5) CONCLUSION: Marriage is a beautiful thing when there is love, so practice love at all times. The writer here is not trying to say that in laws or third party should not be welcomed home, no , but I will say its not advisable in new marriages as they need time to understand themselves better, know what they like to do, eat, places they like to go, time they like doing things and so on. If a new couple have not known themselves better enough, bringing in a third party or in law should be avoided but if a marriage that has lasted for 3 years, 4 years or there about, probably they have known themselves well enough so bringing in a third party or in-law will still be harmful but not as  newly married couple.

Franklin Nathaneal

      Writer