ARE YOU PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE AFTER RELATIONSHIP READ THIS

PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE

INTRODUCTION: Marriage!!! Marriage is something most people want to go into someday at about 50% of people who are married today will tell you marriage is a wonderful experience most especially at the initial, 35% will tell you marriage is neither interesting nor boring, it is just normal while 15% will tell you marriage is like a tragedic drama that every stage of it has its own problem that needs solutions. Marriages mean different things to different people due to their experiences. In general conclusion I will say the people who enjoy marriage are people, who prepared for it, knew all the criteria, understood it and put them into practice.
The people who marriage is neither interesting not boring to them are the kind of people whose marriage is imbalance, it is like a wavy sea; a marriage system where there is fight today then the following day they settle and smile again and the next moment they argue and fight again. The other 15% who said Marriage is irrelevant 

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Never took their time to understand certain things about marriage, they feel a marriage is just the coming together of a man and a woman irrespective of what brings them together, that is the problem, the strings attached to the union which was not base in love.

  Marriage is very important, necessary but not compulsory, the act of enforcing marriage on a person is the beginning of driving such person into wrong marriage. Marriage is not something you just wake up, feel the excitement and make a quick decision to get married rather a man/woman who knows he/she is of age should prepare for it. Time matters a lot in decision making as in preparation: you should understand your partner, know what he/she likes, how best and prepared is she to handle the home and above all character (Wikipedia). You are of age to get married doesn’t make you prepared, “age is not significant to marriage but marriage is significant to preparation”. Never bother you thoughts that quote, what I actually mean is that you are about 23-30 years of age doesn’t make you the best product for marriage, inexperience will lead you to a relationship/marriage you never imagined could be as worse as a man fighting for freedom and that is why those of the 15% complain that marriage is a tragedic drama. What I meant by inexperience was lack of seminars on marriage/relationship, relationship talks, views, experience from others and so on. Age is just an entitlement for marriage. In Nigeria, a lady of about 20-25 years should have been preparing for marriage and by 24-30 you should have been married but we shy away such things and see it as exposing our children to corrupt practices. This is what we call sex education. On the other hand, preparation is significant to marriage in the sense that anyone who has joined or gains a lot from seminars, talk shows, lectures, conferences, experience from others, happenings around parental advises and prepared in the heart (mindset), understand his /her partner and adjusted yourself to enhance positivity should be ready for marriage.

We can say in Nigeria that a girl/lady of 18, 19 or thereabout is not entitled to marriage because she lacks what it takes to be an woman but in the northern part of the country, girls/ladies of this age group are getting married and living in peace. If such girl/lady has enough experience to live as w a woman in the home, she should be free to marry when a man comes knocking (asking her hand in marriage). Have you ever heard of any girl below the age 19 giving marital advice to someone who is about 25 years of age that is because the girl has such marital experience and exposure more than the girl of 25 years, Let us now focus on our study:

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PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE

There are certain criteria you should endeavor to put in place before going into marriage and in the process of going through this, you should never be in a haste as it can make you lose basic things which you were suppose to do. Critically do the below mentioned and it will enable you prepare for marriage, thus the MAJOR:

1)    In preparation for marriage, first of all what you need to do is to attend marriage seminars, talk shows, lectures on marriages, and seek parental advice, this will boost/widen your knowledge on marital issues

2)    Have dream knowledge of the kind of man you would love to be with, I will say imagine the kind of man you would be able to live with and spend the rest of your life with. People who don’t have desire make wrong choices and when I mean dream knowledge I mean looks, characters, charisma, composure, these are the traits that should attract you before the secondary traits

3)    Make sure the type of man/woman you would want to marry has deep love and practice for his/her religion. A person who has deep love and practice for religion tend to behave well in the home.

4)    Study your partner very well and not in a hurry, take your time to know everything about him/her up to his family background, know his/her habits, weakness and everything there is to know about your partner

Make sure you read this link, it is insightful and helpful QUESTIONS TO ASK YPOUR PARTNER

5)    Do the things that will make him/her get upset at you. Yes you might think or say you don’t want to hurt him/her, you don’t want your partner to see you as a person who can be a bone in the neck, you are not wrong after all, but how best will you know him/her if you are always at peace with your partner, you need to get him upset so that you know his/her reactions, weakness, and strength. Marriage is a lifetime experience.

6)    Is he/she the type that can take full responsibility and care of you that is what you should know, find out his abilities, strength, passion, his weakness, his love for work, his plans, in that way you should be able to give yourself an answer.

7)    In preparing for marriage, having found whom you have decided to spend the rest of your life with then it must be based on love first before any other thing attached to your relationship with him/her. In a marriage where love does not exist there is bound to be coas, love covers all, there shouldn’t be any form of pity as to why you are getting married. I love a lady and another has been begging me seriously to marry her and I feel so sorry for her because of the way she attends to my needs, care for me, always by me and continually beg me to marry her, I feel pity for her and I can’t just let her go but I love the other who also loves me more but she is not begging me and acting the way this particular lady is acting, what do I do? I just smiled and said to him, if you marry the one that you pity and leave the one you love and then after marrying her because you have satisfied her by accepting her plea, ok after fulfilling her desire, the love for the other will continually be there right inside you as the marriage progresses you will realize that you never loved her, what would be your reaction towards her, you will begin to hate, you will begin to have regrets and possibly cheat on her because you fulfilled her desire not your desire so therefore things will not go right. You have attached a string to the base of your marriage which is PITY.

8)    In preparation for marriage, practice the role of a wife or woman in the home. You can do this around your environment to your neighbor, family (immediate and extended). Love children, prepare meals (breakfast, lunch, dinner) keep home tidy and other things in that way you get used to it before marriage.

9)    Like I have listed before, attend marriage seminars in there you will be taught her to be a good wife in the home, what to and what not to do at specific times.

10)  Be Prayerful

11)  Never be in the midst of those who have bad mindset about marriage or those who see marriage about marriage as irrelevant, it will make you a weaker person (having negative attitude towards marriage).

OTHER MINOR PREPARATIONS MAY INCLUDE:

1)    The kind of food to be prepared

2)    The choice of venue for the wedding( place, hall)

3)    The kind of dress (wedding gown/suit) to put on.

4)    The best man or royal girls to use

5)    The place for the wedding e.g Lagos, UK, or PARIS

6)    The cars to use for the wedding, among others

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