THESE ARE RULES THAT GUYS WISH GIRLS KNEW
Ø 2) We notice other women because we are men and
we are alive. This does not mean we're planning to dump you and jump them.
Ø 3) Our favorite T-shirts are not
"disgraceful." They show our loyalty to our college, our favorite
sports team, our favorite beer, our favorite vacation or number 23.
Ø4. Helpless is not cute.
Ø 5. Get to the point.
Ø 6. Understand that men are single-minded and
can only do one thing at a time. So don't talk to us while we're doing
something. We will either ignore you, because we don't hear you
"honestly), or we'll screw up what we're doing because you've distracted
us.
Ø Exception to Rule 6. Interrupt us if something
is on fire, if someone needs immediate medical attention, if Pamela Lee is on
TV or if there is an emergency that needs a hero
.
Ø 7. You can't complain that there are no good
guys around while some of us are still single.
Ø 8. If you ask us, "Do you think she's
prettier than me?" we just might say, "Yes." Then what are you
going to do?
Ø 9. Don't expect even a great relationship with
us to solve all your problems. Just because we love you, doesn't mean you’re
cellulite, your credit card debt or your bad mood will disappear.
Ø 10. We would not wear high heels to impress
you.
Ø 11. Breathe occasionally so we can get a word
in.
Ø 12. For us, driving is not just a means of
going from point A to point B. It's an opportunity to control a couple of tons
of steel. We drive, therefore, we are.
Ø 13. If you want us to notice something, help
us out by saying something like, "I went to the beauty shop today."
Ø 14. If you have to have a cat, at least don't
call him "Mister" anything.
Ø 15. Hide the self help books when we come
over. They make us nervous.
Ø 16. We need to vegetate.
Ø 17. We don't go shopping. When we need
something, we buy it.
Ø 18. We
believe our bodily functions are perfectly normal and, at times, quite amusing.
Ø 19.We
don't believe you when you say money isn't important to you.
Ø 20. When
we see pictures of Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones we feel proud and
happy to be men. We don't care if it's not fair.
Ø 21. It
is not that we don't want to make you happy, it's just that sometimes, we don't
know how.
Ø 22. Learn
to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.
Ø 23.If
it itches, it will be scratched.
Ø 24. If
you ask a question you don't really want an answer to, expect an answer you
didn't want to hear.
Ø 25. Sometimes,
we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
Ø 26. Don't
ask us what were thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topics such
as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
Ø 27. Sundays
equals sports. Period.
Ø 28.Beer
is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
Ø 29.When
we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
Ø 30.You
have enough clothes.
Ø 31.You
have too many shoes.
Ø 32.Crying
is blackmail.
Ø 33.Your
ex-boyfriend is an idiot.
Ø 34.Ask
for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong
hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!
Ø 35.No,
we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar
you know we check.
Ø 36. We're
not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not
proof of how little we care about you.
Ø 38.Yes
and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Ø 39.Come
to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
Ø 40. A
headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Ø 41. Check
your oil.
Ø 42.Don't
fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
Ø 43. It
is neither in your best interest or ours to take any quiz together.
Ø 44.It
doesn't matter which quiz.
Ø 45.Anything
we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null
and void after seven days.
Ø 46.If
you won't dress like the Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act like the
soap opera guys.
Ø 47.If
something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you
sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Ø 48.You
can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
Ø 49. Whenever
possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Ø 50. Christopher
Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
Ø 51. If
you wear a Wonderbra and a low-cut blouse, you lose the right to complain about
having your boobs stared at.
5 .52 Our
relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were
going out.
Ø 53. Men
see a limited number of colors, like Windows default settings. Peach is a
fruit, not a color..
Ø 55. If
we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing
is wrong.
source: yourtango.com
source: yourtango.com
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