Relationship: drop those habit

Relationship: drop those habit

  In relationship/marriages both partners are expected to feel themselves intimately, being proud of each other, be at each other’s back and above all love each other. So many people are born with certain traits that are publicly un acceptable but in their sight they feel very ok about it.  Partners may love, care trust themselves but certain character and traits the other partner exhibits may probably disturb the flow of those things mentioned above or they continually have problems in the home. In a relationship/marriage you are to be in the best position to satisfy your partner in the manner him/her will appreciate of you and place you in the level he will be so proud of you even among his/her friends. Love, trust, commitment, intimacy, sex, being romantic, sharing thoughts, spending time together is very important but is not all that matters in relationship. You can have all these things but these traits that will be mention right here in this article can lead a relationship right to the end if not taken care of.

WHAT IS HABIT?: According to Wikipedia definition of  “habit", It can can be defined as that behavior that you repeat regularly. We can also say that habit is an act of showing what you are mostly used to that is not commonly found among other people. It is something you do continuously even when you are not suppose to act in such manner for example always picking your nose. Privately you may feel no shame and feel very comfortable with it but publicly you find it a shameful thing thereby trying to avoid it but it has been an habit so you do it unknowingly.  There are certain things you are not suppose to do when you are with your partner or let’s say there are certain things your partner can feel irritated about you that you need to drop in order to ensure an enjoyable relationship and these traits or characters include:

BASIC HABITS:

1)      Blaming for past mistakes: this is when your partner continually blames you for past mistakes. If it has been an issue both of you have discussed, drawn conclusion and implemented, I see reason why you should continually bring up such matter in doing so you are making your partner see you as a nagging person which can break your relationship/marriage.

1.1   what you should do to cut it off: deal with issue individually unless they are legitimately connected for example if someone cheats that obviously a problem in a relationship, what you should do is to sit him/her down, talk to your partner in the manner and way he/she will understand you better, you can be romantic about it, then make him/her see reason why cheating is bad instead of continually nagging about such matter, it can get him or her pissed off.

2)      Saying incomplete statements and other passive aggression: instead of stating clearly your desire, thoughts about something rather you try to nudge your partner in the right direction of figuring it out by him/herself.  Probably you have something that is upsetting you, you find small and petty ways piss your partner off, so you will feel justified in complaining to him/her. It only shows you are not comfortable communicating openly and clearly with one another.

2.1)  what you should is to try as much as possible to state clearly you feelings rather than beat                 about the bush and forcing your partner to figure how you feel rather than expressing yourself.

3) Deluging responsibility: in some homes the woman plays the financial role in the family or marriage. In the case of a family with children, due to the lack of finance the man may seem to deluge its responsibility anytime the need arises or the time for such need is nearer. For example a family who is suppose to have dinner at 7pm, due to lack of resources, the man will look for excess just to leave home to avoid taking the responsibility of providing the dinner.

      3.1) Deluging of responsibility indicates that you lack characteristics of a full fledge responsible man       and this will make your wife and children never to rely, trust and believe in your words, seeing you as an irresponsible father in the home.

      4) Keeping unnecessary drama: this is trying to turn every little argument into something that looks like a war. Making irrelevant things count as though your partner is the enemy you have been praying to see and take revenge on. It’s bad to do such thing in your relationship.

     5) Forgetting to forgive: this is most common among women, having a stiff and hard heart will never help in your relationship, try and always forgive your partner anytime he wrong you, as soon as possible.

     Having explained few of this basic habits which you may never try to figure out when your partner does such, there are list of so many bad habits that can make your relationship head towards divorce (break up). What you need do is to identify these habits as will be explained in the course of our reading and try as much as possible to DROP THOSE HABIT   in order to have an enjoyable lasting relationship thus:

1)      Swearing: most people are good at this while some others find it as a very irritating and ancient way of life. For example “to God who made me” “if I don’t do this let me die” this is a bad habit drop it

2)      Picking your nose:  picking your nose can be very irritating and very habits both privately and publicly, avoid it.

3)      Biting finger nails: biting your finger nails shows that you still have some childish traits in you, it is a bad habit which your partner can find very uncomfortable.

4)      Drinking tea: drinking tea is not a bad habit, what the bad habit is dipping your bread inside the cup of tea, it’s a bad habit drop it.

5)      Alcoholism: this is the act of being alcoholic. Try as much as possible to keep away from a alcohol most especially when you get intoxicated in it. If you think you are alcoholic seek professional help.

6)      Phone: this is when you can’t do without your even when in the toilet your phone is right there with you, it’s bad, it makes you loss focus. This can annoy your partner most especially when he/she is having a conversation with you and you are busy with your phone, it shows disrespect and it’s a damn bad habit.

7)      Speaking with your mouthful: don’t try to converse your partner with your mouth filled. It is a bad habit, it shows you accord him les respect and in valuable in your eyes

8)      Chewing gum: most spouse should have it in mind that chewing gum in the present of their partner shows that they lack manners, uncivilized and disrespectful. It is a bad habit, keep off.

9)      Eating too fast/not chewing: when you eat too fast and not chewing shows you lack (table) manners, and your partner can find it irritating most especially when you are eating together.

10)   Procrastinating: a partner can get angry for this in the sense that he/she looks at you as a person who is no true to his/her words and not to be relied on, It is a bad habit. Stop it

11)   Forgetting what you have discussed: if you are the type that forgets easily as to discussions you have made with your partner, it’s very wrong. Try as much as possible to stop that.

12)   Gossip: a talking type is a secret leaker, it’s a fact. If you are the type that talks too much in the home and outside the home, it’s very bad: if outside the home you can end up revealing what should have been kept secret in the home: if in the home, your partner sees you as un trust-worthy person, he/she may feel telling you secrets is like adding salt to injury.

13)   Fights: if you are the type that always try to pick up fights with your partner, it’s a bad habit, being used to this kind of habit is as a result of your upbringing,  discover it an d drop it off, it can break your relationship. Read also: Not attracted to your spouse ways to deal with it

14)   Nagging: always trying to enforce your partner into doing something he/she is not willing to do, repetition of words can piss him/her off, it is a bad habit and not good for relationship, drop it.

15)   Annoying your spouse/partner: if you are this type that always annoying your spouse or partner on purpose, its never a good character to exhibit, stop it, it can lead to fight and then to marriage dissolution.

16)   Always trying to pull up fights: this is bad and can lead to marriage dissolution(divorce)

17)   Finishing sentences: trying to finish a statement by another is a bad habit, it’s a bad habit. You can be justified only if the person lacks the right words to complete the statement but when the person is still conversing and you intrude in the conversation, it is a bad thing to do.

18)   Doing things the opposite way: this can be annoying for your partner if he/she finds out that you are always on the negative side when you know the right thing to do. It is not good in relationships.

19)   Timing discussion badly: this is when you bring up matters or issues to be discussed at the wrong time, it can piss him off and he feels you do that just to annoy him.

20)   Staying late: when you are fond of staying late outside home, it shows a person from an indecent home and low upbringing. Try and make sure you give concrete reason for staying late and don’t have it as an habit.

CONCLUSION: Relationship: drop those habits. We have identified basic habits you may never know its bad that you do, having been identified it will help you keep away from those things and the other habits can also break a relationship or cause a lower level of intimacy of about 30% which is not good in relationship. Try as much as possible to identify your habits if not among the ones mentioned and work toward leaving them for good in order to have a strong and balance relationship.

            Franklin Nathaneal

                       Writer