CONTROLLING THE PRESSURE OF PARENTS ON MARRIAGE ISSUE

1) Parents want their children to marry someone from their tribe: most parents especially the mothers who want their children to marry someone from her tribe so that she can relate well and speak her language with her among others.
2) Parents want their children to marry from a wealthy home: the rich want to get richer and the poor want to get rich that is why parents who are rich want their children to marry someone who is richer than they are and the poor also. In general, they will say they don’t want their children to suffer rather their partner should be able to give them a better life.
3) Parents want their children to marry someone from a good background: it is likely nobody will claim his/her children lack good upbringing but this is the fact, every parent want their children to marry someone from a good home where the parents and members of the family are well civilized and well mannered irrespective of their own background.
4) Parents want their children to marry someone who is well mannered: a man/woman can come from a well behaved and cultured background but he/she is not well mannered. Coming from a well behaved family has nothing to do with personality. Personality is within influenced by environment and associates. A person becomes who he/she is with what he/she hears, think, and see, so it is who you say you want to be that is your personality. If you want to marry from a well behaved family also take time to study your partner.READ ALSO SIGNS TO KNOW IF YOUR PARTNER TRULY LOVE YOU
5) Parents want their children to marry someone who will not take their child’s attention from them rather bring them closer to the parents. So many people get married to people who will later make them forget their parents and concentrate on their own parent or probably only the family.
6) Parents especially mothers love to see their grandchildren to be able to hold them and play with them. So a woman who cannot give birth due to Barrenness, or fibroid or any diseases that could hinder birth, on hearing it, parents will never want their children to marry such person in fact the keyword is give them grandchildren and they are happy.
7) Parents want their children to marry someone who is handsome or pretty. They value facial looks very much.
8) Parents want their children to marry someone who is learned/literate. Someone who can boldly speak and express him/herself in public without fear of intimidation.
9) Parents want their children to marry who have goals and structured plans for the future and including the family in the plan as well as taking good care of the family.
10) Parents want their children to marry someone who have the characteristics of a woman/man and not just been a wife/husband and the characteristics may include:
a) Temperance
b) Patience
c) Care
d) Love
e) Good character
f) Does not nag a lot
g) Encourages
h) Stand by you, with you and for you
i) Blessing to you
j) Advises you
k) Hardworking
l) Good heart
m) Peaceful
n) Love for children
o) Endurance
p) Relating with people
q) Can handle task/situations
r) Competence
Having known the expectations of parents on their children as regards to marriage and the characteristics of a man/woman parents want their children to marry, let’s now discuss briefly on how to control pressure of parents on children
The pressure most parents embed on their children can be very dangerous to them thereby leading them into wrong marriages. Yes we can say most children feel reluctant to get married (most especially the men) because of their present life: the fun, joy and everything they derive or enjoy but when a child is of age to get married he/she should do so but embedding pressure on the child is not a solution but rather can be a disaster like frequent fights, divorce, or mis-happenings. That can also extend to the family members. Marriage is a good thing and something every lady/gentleman want to do someday, so if for the fact your child is not considering marriage is probably he/she is enjoying his/her present life, or needs more time to balance his/herself or still searching for that one true friend he/she can call a wife/husband. After all we parents are not the ones to live with our child’s partner so we should give them time to do so for themselves.
READ ALSO: WHY IS MARRIAGE NECCESSARY
NOTE: IF YOU CHOOSE OR SELECT YOUR PARTNER FOR YOUR CHILD BE READY TO RECEIVE BLAMES WHEN THE MARRIAGE GOES WRONG SO IN ORDER NOT TO RECEIVE BLAMES ALLOW YOUR CHILD TO CHOOSE FOR HIS/HERSELF IN THAT WAY YOUR CHILD BLAMES NOBODY FOR HIS/HER ACTIONS
If you as a parent still think your child is well to do( rich), matured for marriage but doesn’t want to get married, what such child needs is a change of mindset and how best can that be achieved is through prayers and parental advice. Parental advice is very important, sometimes you sit him or her down and have a well structured, spirit filled and mature advice for such child and in no time he/she will have a change of mindset.
HOW TO CONTROL PRESSURE OF PARENTS ON MARRIAGE
How to control pressure of parents on marriage is who you are, what you want/goal at that moment. Make your parents believe you are really searching deep to find someone of your taste. How to find your taste and assure your parents that certainly as soon as you see one you will get married. Always make them feel you are still thinking about marriage, it makes them feel relaxed and if you are the type that don’t want to get married then you must outline/list reasons why you don’t want to marry and those reasons must be concrete enough to believe and agree with you on why you don’t want to get married and more also if you are the type that still live with your parents, the pressure will be very high as seeing you everyday will increase the pressure on you, so if you are capable of leaving home to your own apartment please do so. Am not saying run from home but peacefully leave the home in order to reduce the pressure. In general, the best you can do to reduce the pressure is to constantly talk to them about marriage rather than talking about marriage to you and always assure them that you will get married and also give them reasons to make them have a rest of mind why you are yet to get married. The few reasons could be;
1) You are still searching for the rightful one in order to avoid mistakes
2) You still need to make some more money before settling down
3) There are certain things you want to achieve that will slow you down when you get married because marriage brings about responsibility
4) And other concrete personal reasons you can tell them. I know some parent can be very worry-some but it is who you are, what you say, what your drive is that will increase or decrease the pressure on you.
CONCLUSION: it will only be an advice to you as a child to think of how best to satisfy your parents but never because of satisfying them run into wrong marriages as it will not only affect you but also your family members. Take your time as marriage is a thing of lifetime. You need to know your expectations and anxiousness of your parents towards you on marriage. The ones explained above are at normal basis, some parents still have other key expectations and having known them, from there you can sort out ways to control the pressure from your parents by following the few mentioned ways explained above and also you should know how best to handle situations regarding your parents because it is assumed you have studied them and know what they like or want.
WATCH THIS INSUGHTFUL RELATIONSHIP VIDEO
WATCH THIS INSUGHTFUL RELATIONSHIP VIDEO
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Franklin Nathaneal
Writer
Thanks for this, really aspiring
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